Returning from Singapore marked 18 more days to my trip. The visit has also proven to be both heartbreaking as much as liberating. The latter being of the fact that i may not see my father and my sister-in-law anymore as both are dying of illness that none of us could do anything about. As sad as they may seem, I have, I must, come to terms of the imminent loss. However, life has to go on and i have to move on and no one knows how everything is going to end or start. In light of these heartaches, the support that i have received from all of my friends, family and my Wizard were simply overwhelming that made me so eager to leave for this epic journey through Indochina.
Having said that, I had one of the most emotional classes in my life tonight. Yeah i could almost immediately hear many whine yeah yeah yeah, oh no... Oh brother there he goes again, but no matter how lame and passe it may sound, it is the truth. Thats the thing, the emotional thing about the truth. The lessons in truth in all the classes that i've taught, or rather cannot be taught. The lessons that must be lived to be understood. This profound phrase that i just came about not too long ago. And another profound thing about the truth, the trust that inevitably happens in class no matter what we do. We need to trust in everything we do, which defines the very essence of human existence!
One of the most valuable lessons about life that i have learned is trust. I learned the hard way to trust people and when you trust people, you need, you MUST trust them with all your heart and all the way for if they falter, then it is not a fault of yours as you have, in your part, trusted them wholly. If they lie, we MUST be able to turn to ourselves and ask why do they need to lie to US? Then it is in our duty to turn back to them and show them that we are capable of the truth. That if the truth hurts, it is in our human trait to be able to DEAL with the truth, no matter how hurtful it is.
As for me, I want lies to end because no matter how hurtful it is, at least hurt goes to show how truthful a human can be.
I held my classes back and broke the news about my decision to leave earlier but be back on the day before I begin my journey from KL. I told them about my sister-in-law, about my father, about the short time we have left (my students and i), and about the legacy i want to leave behind. And so i told them my decision to return to singapore next week and spend some quality time with my father and my family. Apart from the memories i have of my dad and the time i have left with him, its also about the time i have had with my students. It isn't so much about what i have taught them or the lessons i have portrayed in class, but it is more about the lessons that THEY have taught me, how far I have come and the exemplars they have given me that i will carry with me through my journeys. I could not give them an extra hour, an extra day or an extra week that would change things for change has to happen now, for us to seize and accept and to live to be realized its difference.
So this journey, i will dedicate to the lives that had touched mine, to the beautiful farewell that i will have with my beautiful father and to my wonderful wonderful students who have in such a big way touched my life more than i have touched theirs. May this next EIGHT days be the EIGHT best days of our lives together...of living the lessons we have taught each other and understanding what we have shown one another..
To ALL my students, old AND new, I love you from the very bottom of my humble heart.... Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!
Namaste,
A
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